Rollercoaster - 03

by Wind Chijmes

They had a lot of history together, both of them. All the way back to when they were two young fifteen-year-olds. She would remember that period every now and then, when she had a breather from work, when she slowed down and stopped staring out of her office at the world down below and wondered if this peace would last, when she remembered that she was still only twenty now.

Seeing Heero Yuy however, always brought the memories rushing back to the foreground of her mind and she couldn't help but pause and indulge in them. Like how, he was twenty now, at that age where they weren't old, but no longer that young anymore. He had grown, and so had she. But just sometimes, standing before each other, she would be reminded of when they were fifteen. He had literally dropped into her life then, and the poor little rich girl she was back then clung to him like he was the latest toy. At least...before she had became Relena Peacecraft and before she knew just how heavy the world would weigh on her shoulders. And from object of fascination, Heero became her life-buoy, her anchor.

That time had past.

She missed it now and then, those times when just a glimpse of Heero would make her feel like the burden of being Queen was not quite so hard.

Well...like she said, that time had past. These days, she often found the future much brighter than the past. A smile lit up her eyes as Relena refocused her attentions on the Japanese man looking back her so intently. How absent-minded of herself, to forget the all-important mission and waste so much time on reminiscing.

"Heero, do I have to *beg* you to do this? Hmm?" Relena said levelly, letting her tone do all the speaking. She knew she could sound like a prissy princess, and she knew when to sound like one. No harm. It got her what she wanted – usually. With, Heero, it was always trial and error.

Across the table, seated calmly in the armchair and facing her directly, Heero blinked back at her. He was already dressed for the occasion. A rugged, A-shirt with sleeves ending just at the curve of his shoulders and baring muscled arms, and black cargo pants that would have nicely defined a tight posterior if he would just get off his ass and onto his feet.

It vexed Relena whenever her thoughts began to stray into morally-dubious realms - like Heero's attractiveness for example - but she could hardly help it! Back when he was a Gundam pilot, having a normal life would be the last thing on their agenda, but now that they had a shot at humanity again, she could never figure out why Heero was still as walled up as always.

Oh, Relena wasn't stupid or blind. She had suspicions that Heero was not quite as asexual or cold as he obviously liked making himself out to be, but she had no real proof of that so she had to settle for making wild stabs in the dark.

"It's just a dinner, Heero." She reasoned.

He looked past her, towards the doorway, like he was already devising a plan on escaping.

It made Relena feel like she was OZ, and that was not a good feeling. "In your vocabulary, that would mean a 'social activity'." She was sounding snarky now, but to hell with it. "Unless you have ambitions on becoming a modern-day hermit, you will come with me to the reunion dinner. I will *not* have the men stood up. And for that matter, Sally and Wufei either."

Prussian blue eyes instantly riveted on her. "Wufei?"

What do you know, the wall could speak. And what about Wufei? "Yes," Relena resisted the urge to wring her hands. "Did I not say he would be going as well?"

"No."

Oh. "Very well," Relena continued grudgingly. "My fault. So, yes, he is going. Don't you think it's about time the two of you lay aside your differences? You may end up seeing-eye-to-eye, you'd never know."

She could swear she saw Heero's face turn a shade paler at her words, but it happened so fast she decided she was imagining things. "So, are you going?"

This time she swore she was sure that she saw something close to resignation in Heero's cobalt eyes, before he stood up quietly. "Yes."

+++++++++

"So, have you been?"

"Fine."

"Are you sure you're not returning to the HQ?"

"No."

"I see." Sally nodded, wondering vaguely if she was talking to Chang Wufei at all. She knew he disliked disclosing anything that had to do with his own person, but with her, he was never this reticent. Since joining the Preventers, both of them had maintained a congenial friendship. Not just a scant couple of months ago, he would have discussed his decisions with her, those major ones anyway, and she had been more than a little surprised – and disappointed maybe – when he had taken himself right out of the HQ without even informing her.

And even now, he was still reluctant to talk. She observed him carefully, if anything, just to see if she could spot anything different about him that could perhaps explain his recently erratic behaviour.

Appearing not to notice her scrutiny at all, Wufei was gazing absently at the people that milled past them, hardly blinking even in the face of his usual fair share of looks. Those weren't all admiring glances; some of them were the double-takes of curiosity. With Wufei, nothing was clear-cut and conventional. If there were those who were wary of the proud rigidity in his bearing, there were also those who drawn to the severe beauty lying just beneath.

"Sally."

"Hmm?" She was snapped out of her reverie.

Wufei was gazing at her with an expression that was the most curious mixture of uncertainty, perplexity and confusion. And for that moment, he seemed almost like a child confronted with a situation entirely too much for him. As he hemmed and hawed in a rather out-of-character fashion, Sally waited patiently. That was usually the way with Wufei. You have to let Wufei to come to you. At length, he sighed audibly, and she had to make an effort not to raise her eyebrow at the next words that followed.

"Sally, would you ever let another person disrupt your life?"

Now she did raise her eyebrows. "Why do you ask?"

Copper cheeks darkened in what looked suspiciously like a blush, but then Wufei turned his head and Sally couldn't be sure. "It was just a random question." Wufei muttered tersely. "Think nothing of it."

"Someone disrupted yours?"

"No!" Wufei snapped, before his hand jerked in a gesture as if he wanted to recall his harshness. "I apologise. It happened...to a friend of mine."

"I see." Sally decided not to rub it in for the second time. One day she'd start a research as to why people *always* used the oldest and lamest trick in the book of denial with that 'happened-to-my-friend' thing. "It depends on who that someone is, naturally. And how much that person means to you – your friend."

Wufei didn't noticed her verbal slip. He was deep in thought again as he pondered over her words carefully. But whatever internal self-monologue he was engaging in or whatever conclusion he was coming to, it must be something that was affecting him very deeply. It was rare in itself for Wufei to take her - or anyone else's for that matter - words seriously. It wasn't because he thought too highly of himself, but rather, he was too devoted to his own convictions to be easily swayed by the opinions of others.

"So," Sally said casually, choosing her words carefully. "Can I know who that friend is? It'd be more helpful if I know."

"No, thank you." Wufei leaned back in his seat. His arms were tightly crossed, a clear indication that the conversation was closed as far as he was concerned.

"How about explaining why you decided to leave the HQ so suddenly?"

His jaw twitched like he was gnashing his teeth, and she was just about to feel alarmed at his ill temper, until she realised that he was looking at something beyond her. Sally turned around in her seat, a smile blooming on her lips as she recognised the figures of her friends.

"Relena," she greeted, then she nodded at the second figure. "Heero."

Heero's demeanour brought a tinge of ruefulness to Sally's smile. Even as sharp as he looked in his outfit, he looked like he had been forcibly dragged out of his house. And that wouldn't have been too far from the truth, judging from the vexation that Relena somehow couldn't cover fully. Equally resisting, the stoniness was so etched into Heero's features his face looked like a grim mask. In fact, his expression looked just like Wufei's right now.

Heero stopped just a couple of feet before Wufei and the two men regarded each other.

"Wufei."

"Heero."

There was just about enough frost in their mutual greetings to chill the air.

++++++++++

Quatre Winner lifted his hands over his head and stretched, feeling all the kinks in his limbs straighten with satisfying cracks. Somewhat ruefully, he stared around the large three-storeyed bungalow. It was done in autumnal colours of creams, golds and browns. And it was...a little extravagant for three ex-terrorists. In no small way, the extravagance had to do with Quatre himself. Trowa and Duo had managed to talk him out of setting up a mansion for them, but in return, they had to give in to the next best thing, and that was this really comfortable pad.

Feeling very indulged, Quatre's smile faded into certain wistfulness as memories began filtering into his mind. This time back on Earth, the three of them would be staying for a longer period of time. It made him feel a little regretful that he didn't miss L4 as much as he thought he should have. Rather, whenever he was back on Earth, he felt grounded. This was the place where most of his friends and comrades were. The Maguanacs and their worthy pilots were his brothers, but the people who had weathered the Wars on the same plane as he were the ones now back on Earth.

He supposed both Trowa and Duo felt the same way.

He felt his heart warm as he watched the aforementioned men appear at adjoining dining area. To outsiders, it would look strange, no doubt - three men with no real reason to living in the same residence. They could very well have gotten a place of each of their own. But this arrangement...had been laid down for a good three years at least. Quatre himself couldn't really remember the first time they had a common roof over their heads. He only remembered Trowa and Duo calling themselves the 'always guests' and they were suddenly in Quatre's life, each of them affiliated to different colonies yet all bound by such strong and similar sentiments.

It might have started with the first meeting that was held to decide the future plans in store for the colonies. Quatre had attended, representing the L4 Cluster. Almost stifled to death with the very technical, very jargon-wrought meetings, Quatre remembered stepping into one of the side-lobbies for a quick breather. An arm had suddenly dropped onto his shoulder and the only thing preventing Quatre from lashing out instinctively was Duo's infectious laugh. The meetings got easier to handle and they passed so much more quickly with Duo there. They had bumped into Trowa during the last meeting. Someone - Quatre forgot which official - was introducing them to the replacement for the L3 representative who had taken ill rather unfortunately. Quatre remembered he and Duo struggling to stifle their amusement when they shook hands with a very wry-faced Triton Bloom.

A little strange, yet familiar twinge seized Quatre's heart and he had to quickly grasp at the wall to steady himself.

Looking up to make sure no one was watching, he rubbed at his chest as if it might help dispel the knot of emotions that had lodged there. It didn't actually hurt, but he wanted the discomfort to pass quickly or the other two men would notice it surely. Trowa and Duo had both gotten so good at reading him, he half-believed they were empaths themselves.

Quatre had been getting these odd little bursts of unfathomable emotions now and then for some time now. In recent times, they had doubled in frequency and intensity. He had yet to find out the meaning behind them, but he suspected it had to do with the two men he lived so closely with.

"Hey, Q." Duo's voice echoed from the dining area. "Aren't you even helping, princess?"

Quatre stood up with a mock-angry roll of his eyes. "Don't call me that!" he admonished as he trooped off to where his housemates were.

"How many are we preparing for again?" Came Duo's holler.

"Seven," Quatre sighed. It might have been ten, but Une, Noin and Zechs couldn't leave their work behind even for a day. Zechs in particular had to accommodate a meeting with a prominent figure from the echelons of high society.

Duo appeared from the kitchen, looking a little winded by his earlier bustling about. Winded, but in a good sort of way. His hair was yanked back in a hasty tail, and his skin glistened with perspiration where it showed in swatches bared by his open-necked t-shirt. Following close behind, Trowa's countenance was similarly rakish. It was a little disconcerting seeing the usually self-possessed European man with cheeks flushed and dampened - but it matched Duo well.

Quatre nearly choked at the sudden swerve in his own line of thought.

"Quatre?" Trowa spoke questioningly.

"Nothing," the Arabian man assured, looking away quickly. He turned his gaze onto the array of dishes. Most of them came right from the very excellent food-caterer they had hired. But some of them were the results of Duo's commendable efforts and Trowa's amused directions.

These were the ones which mattered.

"This is one hell of a great idea," Duo enthused as he popped a morsel of butterfly prawn into his mouth. "And to think that Relena and Sal thought it up!" His remark ended with a sharp yelp when a pair of chopsticks rapped across his knuckles.

"Stop stealing the food," Trowa said blithely, ignoring the scowl on Duo's face.

"What are you, my Mum?"

"Dad."

The snicker burst from Quatre's lips before he could help it. He held up his hands in defence when the other two men turned to him with raised brows. "Sorry, sorry...I just...that sounded rather...kinky."

Duo made a noise somewhere between a snort and a laugh. Trowa cast his eyes to the ceiling, looking the very picture of long-suffering martyrdom. He didn't budge even when Duo decided to play along by sliding his arms around his waist.

"C'mon, sexy." The American man drawled, lowering his eyes, before his gaze flickered up at Trowa from beneath thick lashes. "Let's show the *baby* here what grownups are all about."

Quatre was already ready to protest the *insult* of him being always tagged as the sweet, virginal one of the group.

The protest stalled in his throat at the same time as his cerulean eyes flew wide.

Bending his head towards a startled Duo, Trowa smiled ever slowly and...sensuously. "Who's the baby?" he drawled.

The air was abruptly stilled as the three of them remained in their unlikely roles, waiting for one another to make the next move. Duo's arms were still looped around Trowa, Trowa's piercing and very deep green gaze still imprisoned Duo's surprised violet one, and Quatre 's nervous smile starting to slip a little in the wake of the awkwardness that was seeping into the scene.

It was a good thing then, that the chimes at the gate rang abruptly, snapping the tension thrumming in the air.

"The door."
"The door!"
"I'll get it!"

The three of them blurted in unison.

Disentangling somewhat awkwardly, Duo grinned somewhat sheepishly at them. "*We'll* get it together."

And they did get it together, high spirits returning at the thought of once-again meeting up with old friends.

The heavy doors were pulled open. At the doorstep, the three men were greeted in a chorus of voices by what seemed like two couples. Except, it was a smiling Relena and dignified Sally with their arms linked.

And behind them, standing side by side in stony and uncompromising silence, were Heero and Wufei.

++++++++++

The conversations were at best, superfluous. Oh, they did try to keep it flowing and they almost succeeded. Duo, always a master in social situations, was entertaining them with all the anecdotes he had collected of his work on L2. Quatre would chime in every now and then, laughing as he did so. It was no surprise. Many of Duo's adventures actually involved Quatre, and Trowa himself too, in some way or another. Trowa however, didn't participate as much in the chatter, preferring to observe instead. The only two women in the group, Sally and Relena, eased in and out of the ongoing topics effortlessly, both being top-notch diplomats themselves.

And despite it all, the conversations began to ebb. There *were* so many things to talk about and so many things to catch up on that they wouldn't be able to finish them all in just half a day. Yet that was provided if everyone was actually participating in the get-together.

The last two members of the group, Heero Yuy and Chang Wufei, were so silent they might have been mute.

Trowa felt the unspoken tension between the two the moment the door had opened to reveal the four visitors. He knew Quatre and Duo felt it too, the way they hung back in silent surprise when Heero, then Wufei made their way into the apartment so painfully careful to avoid any contact at all.

They had made it through dinner. He could see that both Wufei and Heero, even as stoic and as unused to public displays of emotions as they were, were surprised then appreciative of the efforts of the other three men at preparing traditional dishes to suit their respective tastes. Both clutching the customary chopsticks, the two Asian men had eaten quietly but exceedingly politely.

The best part was, Trowa admitted it to himself in a deep, dark corner of his mind, the numerous times Wufei and Heero's chopsticks had clacked jarringly loudly against one another as they reached for the same food. A split-second later, both men would have snatched their hands back like they were burnt, before reaching for other dishes instead. The whole process was so unexpected yet deliberate that Trowa found it all rather amusing. Of course, he knew no one else would quite share his humour. Duo and Quatre especially, had shot him rather accusatory looks when he made no move to mediate between Wufei and Heero.

This was another part Trowa did not quite get. Just because he was as fond of reticence as the two Asian men hardly meant he understood them any better than he understood himself.

And so here they were, seated around the centrepiece table in the living room in one rather awkward bunch as the talk began to cease. Now without dinner acting as a suitable diversion, they were all feeling the strain. All of them had no problem keeping discussions flowing if it were a meeting about work. But without work as the backdrop, it was hard finding middle ground with one another.

Heero and Wufei were, rather unfortunately, seated right opposite each other, and the unspoken standoff they were holding mutually was practically a living-room version of the same standoff between them four years ago from opposing mobile suits.

"...Right, you guys, I have this suggestion," Duo began talking. "Oh, you know, there's gonna be this multi-theme park built in Langsley...it's like, just a two hour drive away. Last I heard, the project would wrap up in about half a year's time. I was thinking maybe we can all go together or something, ya' know."

Six pairs of eyes instantly riveted on Duo with identical 'huh' expressions. Almost defensively, the American man held up his hands. "No talk of work during leisure, right? Don't look at me like that! I happen to like theme parks, you know!"

"I like them too."

Now the eyes were all on the latest speaker, and the 'huh' expressions were even more obvious this time round. If anything, no one, not a single soul among them, would expect that it would be Chang Wufei agreeing with Duo. The Chinese man gaze back at them nonchalantly, like admitting he liked something as frivolous as theme parks was a daily affair.

Duo was more verbal. "You do?" he said blankly.

"Yes." Wufei said evenly. Now he was stirring his coffee in measured circles.

Trowa was immediately interested in the direction the whole situation was taking. This was unexpected. He was sure everyone felt like him. It was during moments like these that they realised just how little they knew of each other, and how close they were at finding out. Chang Wufei had mostly been keeping himself firmly anchored in the background of Preventers work and out of public eye. It was rare that he would share something about himself other than his opinions regarding work.

Wufei didn't disappoint. "I like the rides." He continued.

"Cool! Me too!" Duo was quick to catch on. He was obviously delighted at having found a soul-mate where his interests were concerned. "I like the Death Plunge most! It's like - I can't even describe it - it's just the rush you get, you know! What about you?"

It seemed everyone was waiting for Wufei to answer, the way six gazes were fixed so trance-like on him. Even Heero had stopped his scrutiny of the pattern of the table-top and had sat back in his seat, arms folded, waiting.

"Ferris Wheel."

Trowa blinked in surprise. Well...that was certainly...unexpected.

Duo was a little blunter. "No way! That's like...for kids and couples in looooove."

"I like it," Wufei said flatly. He still wore the nonchalant expression, but all of them at the table knew him enough to be able to tell that his stance was beginning to tense. "I find it relaxing to sit there and watch the world go by."

That sounded very unlike Wufei indeed, so there was no blaming all of them for being even the slightest bit stumped. The Wufei of old was always forging ahead into something, never mind if it was for a dangerous mission or for something as non-physical as a game of chess. As far as they were concerned, they certainly didn't remember a Wufei who would actually be contented to *sit* and *watch* something go by.

"I like rollercoasters," Heero said abruptly, the first time in the whole reunion that he had actually volunteered information.

Wufei looked up sharply from his coffee.

"That's still kinda lame. Rollercoasters are for babies." Duo said non-appreciatively.

"The cart rising to the top, gathering potential energy," Heero continued quietly. "It stops, the buildup is complete. It falls, potential energy turning to kinetic energy. It gains momentum and speed, and it is ready for the next curve."

"A reckless activity in general," Wufei concluded blithely.

"Only for those who are afraid of rises and falls."

Wufei just raised an eyebrow. "What is your position to judge?

"I call it as I see fit."

It was like watching a ball game where the ball was pounded from one end to the other, and all the spectators could do was to watch, eyes drawn helplessly to each arc and swing just to know who'd get the point and who wouldn't in the end.

The wheels of Trowa's mind were already turning rapidly as they digested the exchange between Heero and Wufei. Judging from the looks of consternation *and* resignation the two women were sporting, it was clear they had already experienced a similar verbal tussle from the two Asian men. And slowly...Trowa thought he understood why the women had taken pains to arrange such a reunion dinner. Forcing Heero and Wufei into one same situation certainly had the effect of bringing into sharp focus their apparent ill relations.

A discreet glance at the two men he lived with told Trowa that he certainly wasn't alone in being surprised by the animosity between Heero and Wufei. The last time they had all met as a quintet was a good six months ago. The mood then had been much more relaxed, although he had already sensed the tension that simmered beneath the two Asian men's overly-civil exchanges.

"Guys," Duo waved his hand he could dissipate the tension in the air. "It's just a park ride, come on. If we go, we'd go sit on both, 'kay?" There was underlying warning beneath his light-hearted tone.

"Unlikely," Heero finished quietly. "I have already transferred out of the HQ. Indefinitely."

The silence of shock was palpable in the air.

Still expressionlessly and looking too calm, Heero stood up and inclined his head slightly. "Bathroom. Excuse me."

The moment he turned, Wufei stood up abruptly. The Chinese man's face was drawn tight with emotion that might have been surprise and incomprehension and anger all at once. He still had his cup in one hand and it was shaking. At length, when Heero had already disappeared into the next hallway, Wufei turned to them.

"Refill," he muttered tersely before striding out of the living room.

Three men and two women were left behind, each exhibiting varying degrees of blankness and bewilderment. Quatre in particular had that gleam of intense concentration in his eyes like he was trying to make sense of what he just saw - or feel, rather. Trowa *quite* expected Quatre's empathic senses to be in overdrive at the moment. Duo looked like he was close to exploding with confusion. And he did.

"What the fuck was that all about?!"

Well, Trowa supposed it was time he did speak, since no one else seemed capable of coherent speech. He turned and smiled at the two women who were now looking rather ill at the event's proceedings.

"Would you care to clarify certain matters to us?" Trowa said pleasantly.

++++++++++

A hard, callused hand snagged him by the elbow. "Yuy."

He turned, found himself staring into accusing black eyes.

"You left the HQ? Why?"

Heero was not surprised that Wufei was the last to know. In fact, Heero only confirmed Wufei's own departure from the HQ just days ago. It seemed everyone knew about their affairs, except for themselves.

"So did you." Heero said carefully.

"I - How did you - " Wufei looked away, jaw clenching, unable to come up with a rejoinder. "Is it - because of - "

It was no use. Wufei couldn't bring himself to say it, and Heero certainly wasn't going to be helpful enough to supply the rest of the sentence. They both knew what Wufei was talking about anyway.

It was not just about how both of them had somehow committed the most overblown, cliched typicality of two men *somehow* waking up the next day finding themselves naked. It was about them as teenaged space terrorists who had been both comrades and enemies, going through a good four years of treading eggshells around each other, growing more and more aware of their mutual existences. They had barely spoken in those four years but they had traded ideals and beliefs. They had watched each other with such intensity yet such discretion it was akin to viewing through the high-end of lenses.

And in one fell swoop in the shape of a misspent night, all that discretion came crashing to a naught. Their paths which they had tediously made sure ran separately, were suddenly and unexpectedly tangled. And now, they were in danger of *remaining* muddled together.

Before, Wufei probably wouldn't even say a word if Heero packed up and left without ever returning.

"You know I'm leaving," Wufei continued, his voice low. "There's no reason for you to go as well."

Heero cast a glance around them. They had both ended up in a quiet, snug alcove in a room Heero was unfamiliar with but had no choice about when Wufei had appeared suddenly behind him and basically shoved him into it. The others probably were still in the living room holding a fervent discussion about his and Wufei's inexplicable behaviour. They probably...wouldn't come looking for them any time soon.

It was a little disconcerting how that little nugget of information distorted his perception of himself trapped in a small alcove with Chang Wufei. He was suddenly aware how close they were, just bare inches between them, and so close he could almost feel Wufei's breath against his face.

"Heero," Wufei began again, sounding frustrated. "You can't leave the HQ."

Heero regarded the Chinese man out of hard cobalt eyes. Heero wasn't good with people. That much, he had came to realise and accept. However, up till this point he had some confidence in the few people skills he had mastered. It allowed him to get along with others with minimal friction. Yet for all of this, Heero came no closer to understanding Wufei in four years. Not that very long ago, Wufei had been all acidic scorn at having been involved in a compromising situation with Heero. Wufei had said so himself. And now that Heero was leaving, Wufei was suddenly trying to stop him?

"Why?" Heero said flatly.

Wufei made a noise that sounded like severe exasperation. "You can't. The HQ needs you."

"What about yourself? Does the HQ think you're expendable?"

"Perhaps." Wufei said without bitterness. "And this is nothing I can change. Half the world is still watching me to make sure there is no repeat of the Mariemeia War. The other half looks to you as the saviour of the Wars. I do not think it's responsible of you to just...disappear."

"Are you saying this on behalf of the world," Heero stared hard into the other man's haunted black gaze. "Or yourself?"

Wufei had fallen silent after that. So had Heero. He never thought he would know what a sense of loss would feel even when he hadn't actually lost anything. It was just that...after all these years of maintaining the fine balance of respect and rivalry with each other, it would come to such a sorry end. It made Heero almost wish that night had never happened. At least they wouldn't have been forced to acknowledge each other.

The alcove was separated from the living area only by the scant distance of several other rooms and hallways, but in that moment, it felt like they were tucked away from the rest of the world.

"Yi lu shun feng."

With that, Wufei stood up and left the room without another glance.

Heero stayed in the alcove for several minutes longer, before getting up to leave. The others would be getting worried, and he was prepared to stay the whole way with the pretense he and Wufei were putting up.

~*~ fin ~*~
Chapter 3